Is This In My Head? [Alex + Nick]

Nick stormed back in, still furious. He gave no explanation, just reached for the keys to the car he never, ever used, went to the bedroom, packed a few different outfits into a bag then was about to leave again when he saw Alex slumped in the kitchen, summoning some pills. "You know, ibuprofen don't work," he said coldly. "I only keep them here for when I have girls round. In fact, I've no idea why I've still got them." He shook his head and shot another look at Alex before slinging the bag onto his shoulder and going to the door again...

Alex didn't even bother to look up, his tear stained cheek should tell Nick enough. The word girls hurt him even more. It was as if he could smell them, here, on Nick's skin, everywhere. The bed he slept in, the couch he sat on, they were everywhere. He couldn't avoid them. He would always be in their shadow. Pulling his knees up to his chest he looked directly at the floor, "Please don't go," he mumbled almost incoherently, he would rather be shouted at and hurt than not know who Nick was with or where he was going. He brushed the tears away with his sleeve but they quickly returned. Right there, that moment, he wanted to die.

Nick paused, not believing what he had just heard. He turned, laughing cruelly. "Don't go? Don't go?" he mocked, mimicking Alex in a high-pitched, whiny voice. "Why should I do anything you say? Don't go, be loyal, just a fortnight... Just a f*cking fortnight! Two f*cking weeks and I managed to keep my pants on, so why couldn't you?!" He shapeshifted to look identical to Alex, dropping the bag and the keys and beginning to suck one of his fingers in an exaggerated act of what Alex did to look cute and innocent. "Please don't go, Nick, I love you, I really do, now suck me off and I'll think about Jace and Josh f*cking..." He didn't even know what he was saying, he was so angry; everything was covered by that familiar red veil that meant he couldn't reason, and all he wanted was the alcohol that Alex had just so inconsiderately drunk.

"Stop it!" Alex shouted getting to his feet, "I didn't do it! Alright? I didn't!" An awkward silence hung around them, "I haven't done anything...I haven't been with Jace. And-and...I couldn't...with Josh. Since my birthday I haven't been with anyone but you." Alex looked at Nick's impression of him, it made him feel sick, was that really what Nick thought of him? "No...you're right...do what you want. I should never have believed I was good enough for you anyway," he whispered, turning around and pulling out the dustpan and brush to clear up the mess he had made.

Suddenly he was behind Alex, back in his own form, with a tight grip round his waist and his back firmly against his chest. "I will f*cking well do what I want," he growled into Alex's ear, and immediately stuck his hand down the front of Alex's jeans. "Does that feel good, huh? You know why, don't you? It's because it's ME! And no one else can do that!" he shouted, as if announcing it to the world. If Alex hadn't already learnt his lesson, he would now. Oh, he would now...

Alex closed his eyes, he didn't want to. But he would. Because he belonged to Nick, all of him. It was just like when they started, the first time they had had sex as a 'couple'. Alex tried to cover his ears, shouting at such close proximity made his feel very light-headed. But he didn't cover them, Nick would find another reason to shout at him. Instead he just relaxed, waiting for Nick to do it. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, just do it! Alex screamed in his head.

Nick paused and removed his hand. Pathetic. Can't even stand up for himself now. Pathetic. He walked away, collecting his bag and keys from the floor and taking them back into the bedroom, where he unpacked again. He wasn't about to just f*ck him there and then, no; this punishment would be much more prolonged, much more psychological. He'd make Alex beg for torture, so to speak. Using the psychokinesis he'd stolen he switched on the TV - porn - in the other room, then turned it up to a volume where the moaning and screaming would disturb Alex. It didn't bother him much, he was in the bedroom, unpacking his bag and sorting out his piercings. Didn't even turn him on.

Alex closed his eyes tight shut and switched the tv off. Why can't he just be happy I haven't been fucked by anyone else? Instead of being right all the time he thought bitterly as he finished clearing up and sat himself down on the couch. Crossing his legs up he just listened to Nick, every move he made made Alex want to apologize, but what for? Nick, I'm sorry for not sleeping with anyone, please forgive me? That couldn't be right. So there he sat, in silence, waiting.

Nick waited for a moment until he knew Alex would be very troubled, then switched the TV on again, over onto the channel that his father owned - FOXX TV, not to be confused with FOX TV, because FOXX TV was Xtra special. Nick rolled his eyes. Xtra special needs, more like. The girls were ugly and too old really, and the guys were too butch. It just looked like a spoof of a porn channel, not a real one. He sighed and pulled his t-shirt off, then his jeans, then his boxers, and went into the bathroom, switching the shower onto full power and lying down under the heavy torrent of water, so it felt like it was boring a hole in his chest.

Alex sighed and left the tv running, he couldn't be bothered to argue with Nick. Not now. So he sat and watched whatever Nick planned for him to watch. But he wasn't really seeing it, his eyes were slightly glazed over as he just blocked out as much as he could. His head looked over to the bathroom, to where Nick was. He listened to the water, worried that Nick was going to drown himself. He wanted to say he was sorry, but he knew Nick would be angry with him for apologizing all the time.

Nick could feel himself drifting off, the deafening sound of the water drowning out anything he might have heard from the other room. His eyelids drooped; he couldn't believe how tired he was. It had been an eventful evening, to say the least. He stared upwards at the shower head, and felt hypnotised by the falling water. There was nothing to be done now. What would happen? He sat up wearily and closed the shower door fully, then put the plug in. Soon the water was rising, and within minutes it was almost covering his body as he lay back down again. Some of it seeped out of the gap under the door, but not much. He would float, wouldn't he? He was just so tired.

Alex heard the shower door shut, but didn't hear Nick move around. Frowning he looked to where the bathroom was and he saw the water seeping under the door. Cursing Alex ran to the bathroom and pulled open the door to find Nick fully submerges under the water. Pulling the door open with his mind Alex stepped back as the water spilt over the bathroom floor, his eyes snapping up as the shower suddenly stopped. More tears came to his eyes as he pulled Nick out of the water.

"I was asleep," he grumbled, getting to his feet and grabbing a towel to dry himself with, oblivious to the danger he'd just been in. "Thought you were watching TV..." He frowned and left the room, making no attempt to clean up the spilt water, and went straight into the bedroom to collapse on his comfortable four-poster bed. He fell asleep again almost instantly, snoring very, very quietly, face down on the pillow.

Alex sat in the pool of water, cold and hurt. He never seemed to do anything right when it came to Nick. Sighing he got to his feet, went into the kitchen and pulled out the mop. Returning to the bathroom he began to clear up the mess. Using his mind he turned off the television and the light in the bedroom. He finished mopping the floor and then went and sat down on the couch, laying down he closed his eyes. Willing himself to fall asleep.